My favourite time of day is eating breakfast. I wake up, take the dog out, and then sit down to have breakfast, either with the tv on, some music on, or a book beside me. Breakfast is that part of day where I'm up, and I still have faith that today will be a good day - that today I will accomplish something.
Then after breakfast reality hits. Usually it hits hard. I spend an hour searching for jobs, trying to find something that I'm qualified for. On a good day I'll find a couple of jobs I can apply to. Most days there are no jobs. No jobs for me. Plenty of jobs for others, no jobs for me.
Seeing as I spend pretty much all day every day at home you would think the place was spotless. What else is there to do, right? Well, think again. Most days I lose faith after breakfast, and I spend my day surfing the internet or watching tv. It's quite depressing. As a result, the apartment is pretty much always a mess.
Saturday was my hubby's birthday, and I spent all of friday cleaning and getting ready for saturday. Our apartment was (almost) spotless!
It felt so good to finally get the place cleaned up, and I was proud of our home when our families came for birthday brunch saturday morning. I just needed an excuse to do something.
And then it occurred to me.
My life is a mess, yes, I know. I can't control it. I may not even like it all the time. It's hard to be at home, searching for a job, feeling worthless, because no one seems to want you to come work for them.
even though I may not be able to control some areas of my life right now, doesn't mean that I should give up on others.
I can spend my energy on things that make me happy - having a clean apartment, drinking coffee with friends, going for walks in the sunshine, running around the garden with my dog.
Sometimes I need people to tell me to stop worrying about what I can't change, and enjoy what I do have an influence on.
I'll be alright, job or no job.