It's friday! We made it through another week. When tuesday arrived this week I thought for sure this week would go on FOR-EVER, but the last couple of days have actually gone by pretty fast. Probably because they were suddenly filled with coffee dates, baking, and visits.
Do any of you know the song "Baby, can I hold you" by Tracy Chapman? (If you don't, go on youtube and find it straight away!) Honestly, and this isn't particularly flattering, if Tracy Chapman knew who I was when she wrote that song, I know it would have been about me.
I suck at telling people that I'm sorry, even though I know I screwed up. Even tougher to say "Forgive me", because then you really acknowledge that you screwed up. It's horrible, but I am working on it, and I've gotten better at saying "sorry". Still working on the "forgive me" part.
That's not the worst, however. What if I told you that I hardly ever say "I love you"? Even to those people that mean the world to me. My family. My close friends. My husband.
It's not that I don't love them, because I really, really do. I just have a problem saying it. I can say all sorts of other stuff without any problem! "You're amazing." "I love being with you." "You're the most wonderful person in the whole world." "You mean everything to me."
But having to say "I love you" makes my tongue all clumsy.
When me and my hubby got married (almost a year ago now - crazy!) our church gave us a book called "The Five Love Languages", and suddenly I didn't feel so horrible anymore.
It's not that I don't love people, I'm just not good at being vocal about it. I will, however, go out of my way to make sure they're okay. I love getting small things for people, because that's one of my ways of telling them that I love them. I love doing stuff for them, to make their day easier. Whenever I help my hubby get his food ready for work the next day, I always slip in some chocolate or another goodie, just to make him feel special. And to make him feel loved. I will use my whole evening baking bread and/or cake, because I know he appreciates it. I will buy him his favorite crackers, and then whip them out when he comes home from work all tired and dirty.
See? I'm not coldhearted, I'm just not good at being vocal about my love. But I'm working on it. My hubby knows I'm working on it. He doesn't mind that I don't tell him that I love him all the time, but he appreciates it when I do tell him. Because he knows it means that much more when I finally say it.
He loves me, and I love him. He says it a lot. I don't. But I will. In time.